My journey with yoga began back in 2009 when I took it as an elective class in college. I remember thinking Savasana was nap time because several of the students would always fall asleep and one person would always snore. It was something I considered as a workout and nap at the time and not much more. I was a distracted college student busy with so many activities and just like the semester came and went yoga did just the same. Throughout the next 7 years or so yoga was something that continued to come and go, and I would only attend classes here and there.
In 2017 my practice started to become more regular upon the opening of Yoga Squared and there is when a shift started to unfold. I was also introduced to reiki in 2017 and wanted to learn about this profound life force energy that kept me coming back for more, just like yoga did. I continued to explore reiki and practiced yoga and in 2018 received my reiki 1 certification, followed by my reiki 2 certification. The combination of reiki and infusing it into my yoga practice started to transform my soul from within and slowly the life around me. I began to really understand that yoga was so much more than what I had initially thought it was in college. I began to learn that yoga was a way to connect with the energy within me and around me.
Yoga + a hike- 3 months pregnant.
My life was beautiful in every sense and things were falling into place one after another. I had a wonderful job, got engaged, bought a house, and then got married. The universe was giving me blessing after blessing and in September of 2018 we received another blessing and became pregnant with our first child. Prenatal yoga then became my go to and was a place for me to connect with my son Austin in a profound way. My husband and I were so excited and anticipated the day we could welcome our son Austin into this world, but the universe had other plans. After 23 weeks of what seemed to be a smooth pregnancy I suddenly was rushed to the hospital. I had a placenta abruption and gave birth to Austin at 23 weeks and 4 days. Being only 1.5 pounds, he was immediately rushed to the NICU. The next 11 days were the most difficult days of our lives as Austin went through multiple surgeries fighting for his life. He fought so hard and in those 11 days showed us what life is truly about. He showed us so much love and peace and taught us about compassion and strength. He showed us the light that lives within us all and I hold onto that every day. I knew Austin would change me forever and so would this experience.
Holding Austin’s hand.
I chose to continue to seek out the light and not let the darkness in and that is when yoga shifted my life again and became my true saving grace. I showed back up on my mat just a few short weeks after Austin’s passing and I can truly say that yoga saved my life and saved me from going into that dark place. Yoga was a way for me to heal and feel at peace. When you focus on feeling good you heal and when you focus on healing, you feel good. In the presence of feeling good we find our most powerful selves and we become sound and healthy again. Yoga has the power to do this and has done this for me.
Not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought of Austin and I know a day won’t go by in this life where I don’t think of him. I’m more aware of my feelings and yoga has taught me to just feel them and let them pass instead of fighting them. These feelings come and go and that is the beautiful thing about humans- we get to feel, and we can move through them with the help of yoga. So much of life we can’t control, and we try so hard to make things go the way we have them planned. We are not entirely in control and this universe sometimes has different plans. This whole experience has changed my life and I’m learning how important it is to understand how the mind, body and spirit work together to bring true serenity in addition to trusting a greater source. Yoga has helped me connect to a higher source, find that inner peace, and hold onto the light that Austin gave to me.
This journey lead me to sign up for yoga teacher training. I wanted to learn more, and I learned from Austin that life is so fragile and we must take chances and live our life to the fullest. Yoga Teacher Training has provided me with a community of loving, authentic individuals where I can heal even deeper and be my true self. I have made many new friends and feel so blessed that yoga has helped me find my voice, has strengthened my body and my mind in a way I never knew would be possible. It’s taught me about how to treat others, how to be the best version of myself and how to move through depression, anxiety and sadness. Yoga helped me set my intention to become the best version of myself so I can help others and I would have never found that voice and light deep within my soul without yoga. It’s driven me and has propelled me even further in life.
YTT Community
I now can trust that things happen for a reason and for the greater good. While there is pain, anxiety and frustration at times I’ve learned to move through it and trust that things will all be okay. It’s especially important for me now to lean into the teachings I’ve learned over the past year. With the shifts currently occurring and us all being thrown out of our regular routines it’s been difficult to not sink into the darkness. I know there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Though I was scheduled to graduate just next weekend from YTT and complete my 85-hour prenatal yoga teacher training in May the Universe again has other plans. The Universe has other plans for us all and we must trust that it is guiding us.
Prenatal yoga training
I’m so thankful to live in a community where there are powerful healers and teachers. And though we cannot connect in person, we have the tools and resources to be able to connect virtually and I know this is only temporary. I will continue to lean into my practice day in and day out because I know how important it is for me. I have this intuition that all of this is helping guide me on path that I’m meant to be on, and I can honestly say that there is a feeling of excitement and joy in my heart- something that’s been missing for a while. While I still have a lot of healing and learning to do, I’m now feeling the present, taking one day at a time, and looking forward to the future with an open mind. I can look back to recognize and remember but I can’t get stuck there- I’m not going that way. There is so much ahead...