They say desperate people find faith — yoga allowed me to find some magical faith in myself.
My life took a wild turn in August 2019 when I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes. My pancreas quit producing insulin...forever. I had been feeling sick for a couple of weeks — I was very tired, weak, had blurred vision, extreme thirst, extreme hunger, nausea, fruity smelling breath, and FREQUENT urination (sorry, TMI).
One night I decided to go to the quick clinic to get checked out. The doctor there told me I had the flu, prescribed Tamiflu, and sent me on my way. I was so ill that I decided to go stay with my parents for some help. I was getting progressively worse, and I knew something was not right. I like to think that this was really when my journey to self-awareness began; I decided to go to the ER despite already being checked out.
I first knew something was really wrong when they weighed me. I had just been to the doctor 2 weeks ago, so I knew my weight. The scale was reading 25 pounds lighter than I was 2 weeks ago. Everything else happened very quickly from there. My blood pressure was dangerously high, and I had abnormal heart rhythms. Next, they checked my blood sugar, and it was ~600. An average person’s blood sugar is usually 80-100. I was in diabetic ketoacidosis, which is basically when the blood becomes dangerously acidic. I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes that day. I spent 2 days in the ICU and 4 days in the hospital all together. The nurses and doctors expressed how lucky I was that I came when I did, as I was likely hours away from being in a coma.
So here I was — 23 years old, sitting at the kitchen counter with my mom trying to muster up the courage to push a needle into my stomach to give myself insulin (something I would now have to do multiple times a day for the rest of my life). I felt pathetic, I felt broken, I felt scared. Soon after, I went through a break up and had to move back in with my parents so they could help me learn to manage my health, and help with the costs of my new illness (which are astronomical).
Soon after, COVID happened, which has been hard for everyone — but for me it was also a blessing in disguise. It allowed me to slow down and really sit with myself. I had a lot of time on my hands to think and plan. One of my goals when it was ‘over’ was to try out yoga. I was desperately looking for something to help me. I was feeling so empty and helpless.
My yoga journey began on a Sunday, May 31st, 2020. I was introduced to Yoga Squared by a good friend. Having always wanted to try yoga, I decided to give it a shot that day. My friend and her girlfriend intended on meeting me there, but they were not able to make it. I almost canceled. Going to a place I have never been and doing something I have never done seemed far too daunting to me. Something in me decided that day that I needed to do this for myself, though. Even the small step of going would be a victory for me.
1 year…and 200+ classes since Shelby’s journey began!
So, I took a leap of faith and went by myself. I am forever grateful for that decision because that day was magic. It is hard to explain, but I truly felt like I was home when I walked in. The feeling only grew during Pam’s absolute gem of a class.
From then on, the rest was history! I have been coming to Yoga Squared ever since. Every day I am there I learn something new about myself. You guys — the community of Yoga Squared — give me the confidence I have always needed in myself. I wear my diabetic devices loud and proud at all times because of you. Feeling encouraged and not judged at yoga gave me the boost I needed to do this in the world as well, not just at the studio.
Even during nights when I have terribly low blood sugar, I’m drenched in sweat, and shoveling food in my mouth (LOL), I find solace in knowing I get to get up in the morning and join you all for class. I know I will get to build off these scary feelings I am having, and that is the most amazing thing. The beautiful connection I feel to every single person in each class is unexplainable and unmatched. Being in a space like this consistently changed my world. It has allowed me to be with myself — my true self. It has allowed me to see the beauty and vastness in the world.
How lucky am I that I get to still be alive and experience all of this? Even with an illness I will have forever, I feel like the strongest person I have ever been.
I am deeply moved to be able to share my story with all of you. I hope you learned a little about diabetes and a little about me.
Thank you, Yoga Squared!
